When I was little I was a huge "Full House" fan*, and I was mildly obsessed with the Olsen twins. I was convinced that we were psychically linked. My logic was pretty much infallible:
In the first place, we were born the same year, so when I turned 5, Michelle-on-Full House turned 5; when I went to kindergarten, Michelle-on-Full House went to Kindergarten; when I did my first stint in rehab...
You get the idea. My second reason was that I had blue eyes and blond hair, and they had blue eyes and blond hair. Pretty uncanny, you have to admit.
Finally, the clincher: On Full House, the character portrayed by the Olsens was named "Michelle". My mom's name? Michelle. I know. It's pretty freaky, huh?
My love affair with all things Olsen ended tragically when I learned about punctuation. I started wondering why there wasn't a comma in their name, you see, I had thought Michelle-on-Full House was played by triplets: Mary, Kate, and Ashley. When I discovered it was a paltry pair of persons, the illusion was shattered.
Still, I've always had a special place in my heart for MK&A, and that is why I've followed their career with a certain degree of interest. And I've come to two conclusions:
First, Mary Kate and Ashley were really cute kids, and pretty good-looking adults, but they went through a phase at about 12 where they looked like trolls. Lucky for them, they grew out of this phase. Unlucky for everyone, the Mary Kate and Ashley Barbie dolls are based on troll-them, not post-troll-them. If I was rich and powerful, I would not have my action figure portray my awkward pre-pubescent stage. They should fix that.
Second, I think the gradual fading of their career up to this point is due to the formula-for-success that made them who they were. You see, when they were 6, the plot of all their movies was: "Mary Kate and Ashley are 6-year-old twins. They are ADORABLE! They get into some 6-year-old-style hi jinks." When they turned 10, the plot changed to: "Mary Kate and Ashley are 10-year-old twins. They are ADORABLE! They get into some 10-year-old-style hi jinks." the problem is that now they are 22, and while they are arguably still sort of adorable, 22-year-old-style hi jinks are not really a good thing to portray, unless your goal is to be Pamela Anderson. So my theory is that they need to invent some new kind of hi jinks. They could so do it. Twins are magical.
*I would like to state here that while I did, naturally, think I would grow up to marry Uncle Jesse (that whole Becky thing was temporary. He'll leave her as soon as he figures out that there's no was those twin boys could ever be related to him. Pale children with sandy-blond hair? Pshaw! Yeah, that's SO Greek.*disgusted snort*), I NEVER, EVER for ONE MINUTE thought Uncle Joey was funny. At all. In fact, I can remember thinking that all of his jokes must be based on some kind of strange, grown-up humor that I just didn't understand yet, because I sure just hated him. Now, I just hate the writers.
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